I’m very open and transparent about the chaos in the Mitchell household. We’ve got a lot of living, breathing beings in our home (9 people, 6 dogs, 2 fish, and a guinea pig). With such a large blended family comes a lot of things: a lot of noise, a lot of chaos, a lot of chauffering kids from sports and clubs and after-school activities. A lot of groceries (seriously, do teenage boys EVER stop eating?) A lot of eye rolls and “bro!”s. And a whole lot of love, for sure.
Having 5 kids ranging from toddler-to-teenager age and working a full-time job doesn’t exactly leave a lot of time for “me time.” Most days, if I get to take a 5-minute shower alone, I’m lucky. I’ve talked about self-care before, and it seems to be a hot topic. Default parent burnout is a real thing (if you don’t immediately know what I’m talking about–congrats! You are not the default parent in your family).
I want to talk about reasonable self-care. For most of us, our ideal modes of self-care are not feasible on a weekly (or even regular) basis. For example, my ideal self-care day would look like this: wake up and go for a walk on the Schuylkill River Trail with one of my favorite true crime podcasts in my earbuds, followed by driving my Jeep with the top down to get iced coffee from the Dutch Country Market (if you haven’t been, GO. Like, right now. Get an iced blackberry mocha and you will not regret it). Then I’d walk around my favorite used bookstore, and get chick-fil-a for lunch (WITH a peach milkshake, thank you very much). I’d spend the afternoon with more iced coffee (zero effs given, caffeine is life) and a browse around Target and Michaels (for more yarn for crochet projects I don’t have the time to do). I might sneak a pedicure in there, and end the day with beers at my favorite brewery in the outdoor beer garden with Erik & friends.
I have literally never done all of the above in one day. Hell, I don’t think I’ve done more than two of those things in one day, ever. That’s why I want to talk about reasonable self-care, which involves small, attainable moments that bring you joy that doesn’t require a full-time nanny and a bottomless budget to make it happen.
One of my favorite examples of reasonable self-care that I’m actually capable of doing is crochet breaks. I love crocheting (call me Granny, because I am truly an 89-year-old bitty at heart). It’s something I learned mostly from YouTube videos and a lot of trial and error ten years ago, and I go through phases where I pick it back up more than usual. When I’m having a particularly stressful day (whether it be work, kids, or life in general), I like to take 10-15 minute breaks from my desk and just do something mindless with my hands (crocheting blankets is great for this; crocheting something that requires a pattern and counting is not, for me at least).
Another example of reasonable self-care I like to do for myself is trying new recipes. No, I don’t have the time to bake and cook like I want to, but I have found 10 minutes in the middle of my workday to try a new at-home iced coffee or smoothie recipe. It gives me a boost of energy for the afternoon and leaves me feeling like I’ve done something that makes me happy. Win/win.
Listening to one of my favorite podcasts while I do work that isn’t focus-intensive (aka updating project plans, sending follow-up emails, etc) is another of my recent favorites. If you’re a true crime girly like me, Crime Junkie and Morbid are my two go-to’s. Morbid can definitely be a little more on the supernatural and curse word frenzy side (both of which I’m here for).
It was actually the hosts of Morbid that brought up the idea of reasonable modes of self-care (they were mentioning TikTok breaks and playing Sims as their modes of daily self-care). It isn’t guaranteed that I get to do any of the above every day. But working from home, I actually work more than I used to in the office (no social distractions, one-off chats, etc.) So I’m trying to build some of these little things for myself into my work day to give my brain (and eyes) a break.
I’d love to hear your favorite form of self-care (both reasonable and ideal state). Let’s daydream together 😀
Unapologetically,
Ally