Every morning when I open my eyes and start another day of momming, I find myself looking forward to/hoping for just one thing to happen today:
I start off each day, excited to receive the unnecessary and unrequested feedback from strangers and people I know alike about everything I’m doing wrong with my parenting.
Most moms hate the random, social media comments from friends of friends whom they haven’t spoken to in years, or the off-handed comments from strangers in the grocery store.
Not me. I THRIVE on this shit.
“You know, those Cheetos are filled with chemicals. Are you really going to feed those to your kids?”
“You should spend less time on your phone and more time paying attention to your child.”
“I know I could never send my child to in-person school during a pandemic.”
Oh, you don’t think any of the above comments to be mom-shaming?
It must be so nice, sitting up there on your high organic horse, eating kale chips and drinking kombucha, shaking your head at a mom who is just trying her hardest to keep her family alive and thriving during one of the most difficult times in our country’s history. But no, no, please—tell me what else you don’t agree with about my child-rearing. I’m DYING to know your opinion.
Do my kids eat healthy all the time? Of-fucking-course they don’t. Do I get them to eat 3 meals a day that are rectangular or oval shaped, but not always square? Yes. Does my toddler sometimes eat fruit snacks for breakfast? You bet your sweet ass he does. Do I try my best to feed my kids healthy foods but also still allow them to be kids and eat kid snacks? Umm, yeah, Linda. I do. Do I send my kids to in-person school 2 days a week because it’s what I feel is best for their mental health? Yep. Do I worry about that decision every single day? DOUBLE YEP.
Whether you realize it or not, all of the above quotes are mom shaming. And all of them are variations of judgement I’ve received in the last several months. You truly have NO idea what someone is living through, whether or not you think your comments are innocent or helpful. They’re not. One of the above comments could be the straw that breaks the overworked, overwhelmed mama camel’s back in a world where we’ve got more on our plates than a fucking Old Country buffet.
But in all seriousness, cut that shit out. JUST. STOP. IT. Didn’t your mama ever tell you if you don’t have anything nice to say, keep on scrolling? That’s right, scroll right on past my Cheetos Mac and cheese recipe I shared—which I was sharing for the disgusting factor, BY THE FUCKING WAY.
Seriously, right now? There’s still mom shaming during one of the most trying and mentally exhausting times most of us have ever lived through? Do you feel better now that you’ve made that comment and put your negativity out there for the world to see? Because it says a LOT more about you than it does about me.
I don’t care who you are. I don’t care if you have 1 kid, 7 kids, or no kids. I don’t care if you’re a dude or a dudette. Stop fucking judging. Stop mom shaming. We’re all doing our best to survive right now, and neither I nor any other parent/person needs your judgmental bullshit.
Support each other. Encourage one another. Stop being assholes.